Building a “Self” on Relationships

Édel Pontes, Ph.D.
3 min readOct 1, 2022


We need to analyze human relations through conflicting relationships. The construction of the SELF was made starting from an individual’s interpersonal relationships and there is opportunities to evolve these relationships on a daily basis:

1- Family: parents, siblings, spouse;

2- School: teachers, other students;

3- Society: friends;

4- Work environment: colleagues, bosses, employees.

It is crucial for the knowledge of the SELF that we can analyze those daily relationships on a deeper level. As previously known by our studies of the “shadows”, we already know that all existing conflicts with someone or in any situation are opportunities to learn and to grow towards the construction of the SELF.

The Universal Law of Magnetic Attraction explains that we attract all of which we vibrate with. If the emotion is anger, anger is attracted. If we feel anxious, we will attract more anxiety. This way, if we get ourselves into irritation-inducing situations, it is because we have this negative emotion inside us and healing, cleansing is needed.

Each situation we live in, good or bad, brings up positive or negative emotions and when they are negative it is important to keep a close watch in order to heal them. The means to heal any negative emotion hidden within us is through self-knowledge.


In order to be healed, we need to reduce the low frequency vibration states that occur when we act with excess of control, sadness, complaint, bitterness, anger, EGO, pride, vanity, anguish, anxiety, stress, intolerance, pessimism and so on. We need to be aware, to acknowledge the times when those feelings invade our vibration field in our subconscient. The daily exercise is to have the initial conscience of seeking perfection, for we are not perfect. We seek evolution starting from the building of a new SELF, a more conscious SELF.

All moments in life are unique and a source of constant lessons for us to grow with. We need to use every available minute to practice this and to learn from emotion awareness.

For example, when a conflict is created from arguing with someone, focus on the feeling, without guilt. Identify the emotion and assess or quantify it, remembering other episodes in which those emotions occurred. It seems a little hard, doesn’t it? It may, at the beginning but when the commitment to our own evolution and inner transformation are made our priority, we can realize the change in the conscience and the results begin to surface. We start to watch, to see and to build this new, more conscious SELF.

And even when we feel a negative emotion, if we don’t focus on it, we may have the awareness to assess and quantify these conflicting experiences later on, for the transformation is being made from the inside out. The expansion of our consciousness is starting.



Édel Pontes, Ph.D.

Doctorate in Neuromarketing, Master in International Business and Psychopedagogy Édel Pontes develops self-confidence in people to reach their objectives